The Zecchino family lived in the swamps of southern Florida. Big Joe, as he was called by the locals, and his wife Aggie raised four children. Vinnie was the oldest, followed by Joey, Tommy, and their sister Natalie. They grew up in a strict military household, as Big Joe was actually lieutenant Zecchino, leader of a small, highly trained commando unit that ran search and destroy missions against the army corps of engineers who had been wreaking havoc on the Everglades for decades.

 

His career came to an abrupt halt in 1993, when he was struck by an airboat carrying tourists, leaving him without a spleen, and the removal of eleven damaged wisdom teeth. But Big Joe was never one to sit still. By 1997, he was the biggest mob boss from Orlando to Miami. As his sons got older, he introduced them into the family business, though Sage was sheltered by her mom from a life of crime. Vinnie ran a huge gambling operation in the drainage sewers in downtown Miami, mostly tables and some cock fights.

 

One night, a gator from Boca Raton dropped $150,000 at a blackjack table, went berserk, and hit Vinnie over the head with a whiskey bottle. After four hours of surgery to repair a fractured skull, Vinnie was declared demented by his doctor.

 

Joey was in charge of the development of real estate on the east coast of Florida. Condos, high rises, beachfront property, nothing could get built without the Zecchino family getting their cut. Joey made millions in the building boom from the late nineties till the recession hit. On a hot, sunny summer afternoon, unaware that a contract was taken out on him, Joey was pushed out a three story window at a construction site and landed on top of a passing neighborhood ice cream truck. After coming out of a coma six months later, the doctor told his parents he would be demented for the rest of his life.

 

Believe it or not, it was Tommy who brought in money by the truckload. In his teenage years, he was a slacker, surfing with his buddies on weekends at Coca Beach, and occasionally panhandling for loose change in Fort Lauderdale. When he began working for his dad, he discovered saltwater hydroponics, which eventually led to the growing and harvesting of a potent strain of swamp grass. In a review in Weed over America magazine, they compared swamp grass to bungee jumping into Niagara Falls but without the chord or any water.

 

After testing his product on a daily basis for consistency and quality, Tommy caught himself doing strange things like calling himself on his cell phone while pretending to be someone else, and brushing his teeth with battery acid. Panicking, he went to the doctor’s office, where he was promptly told he was probably demented since birth.